Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Going off the Grid…

Posted: November 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

There’s no easy way out of this cycle we call life; as well as there are no easy way out of having to make choices in our lives either. Justifying our actions in life whether it’s right or wrong is just an excuse to ‘assure ourselves’ that the choices we made thus far was the best course of action at the time. Alas’ we are only human; and one day our conscience will catch up to us eventually.

And sometimes at one point in our lives, we are at a juncture, a crossroad…the limbo between deciding the right choice to make and the step where you are actually going to implement the decision you’re about to make. Not exactly here nor there…not exactly anywhere…call it procrastination if you want; I’ll just call it going off the grid…

It may take a few days, may take a week…I’m not sure. I know staying positive and livin’ without regrets is definitely better than being stuck in any limbo or a pseudo-eternal cycle of ‘what ifs’. But even one of you out there can’t deny that you have been in a situation like this.  My predicament is actually quite simple~according to some of my closest of friends; Or maybe I’m just off my game for awhile and not willing to admit that appearances can be deceiving when it comes to the game?

Technically I’m not going off the grid completely…if I were I wouldn’t be posting this up now would I? I know someone is tracking my interweb trails/foot prints as you’re reading this; and no that’s not a typo….I just like the sound of ‘interweb’. I’m not saying I’m famous enough for someone to track my foot prints on the web, I am saying that some people are lookin’ for me. The rest of the post is vague precisely because of this reason, heheh.

When you get ‘side tracked’ in life a lot, you tend to sink yourself in your own limbo or whatever you wish to call it. One things’ for sure, you can’t run from your problems…you have to face it head on regardless of the obstacles and/or consequences that may follow. Sometimes being off-grid can be very relaxing. Almost therapeutic I might say; like going to a spa or visiting the beauty center or having a new hair-cut; or go crazy and go sky-diving…ANYTHING..break away from your usual cycle in life, at least you can enjoy/relax/chill yourself down while figuring out what your next step should be.

There’s really no easy way around it actually; and I’ve been wrapping my head around my predicament last week by drinkin’ my self almost under the table DAILY; and I NEVER did that…not even back in college and believe me I drank… A LOT. So I guess I’m gonna break my cycle starting tomorrow~maybe I’ll take up darts,..or go back to bowling…maybe I’ll visit my island back in Semporna for a bit and do some ‘crab-catching’ with my bare hands, yes that means no gloves..trust me its’ fun. Just that the island is kinda big to circle the entirety of it in one night.

I think another term for going off the grid would be ‘taking a vacation’. Some would go so far as calling it ‘meet my therapist’ time; I certainly don’t have time nor money for that. How would you go off the grid? Say you’re stuck in a limbo, and you need some time on your own? When I say on your own, I mean…no familiar faces, places, no distractions…everything’s new~EVERYTHING is NEW to you. Would you take up yoga? Learn jiujitsu? Drive your car downhill at night without turning on the headlights?  Hey~I know some crazy-ass people out there…

So to complete the ambiguity of this post(that’s almost an oxymoron ain’t it)~

What would Going off the Grid would be for you?

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Its raining tonight, I wonder how long has it been since the last time I actually ‘enjoyed’ this weather. Nowadays the nostalgia that I used to get whenever it rained doesn’t feel the same anymore. Maybe because I’m running out of time, or simply because I just don’t have much to think or feel about concerning the past.

Somehow  things have changed a lot over the years; yet in some way nothing much did. I can’t explain that last sentence, I myself am ‘lost’ right now.

Ever had those moments? I mean, you know you have been through a lot of transitions in life for the past, say, 5 or so years. Yet you can’t help but feel like you have been static all this time; unmoving, unevolving, unaltered, not physically, or spiritually; nor mentally. Somehow you even feel, in such an enigmatic way that even ‘time’ doesn’t ‘move’ with you.

Purpose, that is an ‘anchor’ that we all could  use in this unending, bizarre & subconsciously manifested realm in which some of us are experiencing. Though, I know it will ‘pass’ as is should be for everyone else, maybe one day when my ‘time’ comes and  snatch me far away to  an immaterial plane of non-existence, while simultaneously clinging unto a galaxy in which the only known intelligent(just because we’re at the top of the food-chain) sentient being would be one that happens to be a carbon-based life form.

Looking outside my window, its’ still raining. But I’m not just looking at the rain~drops(not like I can identify each raindrops that falls mind you); nor am I smelling the wet-earth or the feel of the cold night breeze; it’s more like I’m being a part of it all.

“Yeah, someone is really losing his marbles. “ Don’t blame you for saying that, or thinking that way. I kinda’ think the same. But then again when some is losing his marbles, that person wouldn’t know he is losing his marbles in the first place, would he? Even if a shrink tells him so.

Zen-Travels

Let me see, how do I put it…it’s like…like being stuck in a ‘bubble of time and space’ while everyone and everything around you kept living, moving, changing within their own existences.

But then again, who knows; it is a long road …and it gets harder to see as you tread upon; so tread lightly whenever you can. Yes it’s true, when you tend to have so many of these questions; one tends to get lost in ones’ own world.

And as your journey gets hazy, you can’t help but feel disoriented from all that life throws at you.

Light-at-the-end

And as day turns to night, the more precarious your journey will be… the path stretches and coils out to the ends too far for the eyes to see. I’m not looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. Cause right now I feel like I am that tunnel.

I could care less about that light, knowing where I am headed…

What I’m looking for is… peace within thy self…Not much to ask eh?

Cheerz you ‘blogo-heads’ & see you on the ‘other’ side…

I do not want to but I have to… I simply do,

Not caring for what has or have or had been, neither of what people thinks too;

Should I wait a little longer for it to pass?

But that would be much of the opposite wouldn’t it lass?

To come and go when people aren’t looking,

To listen to peoples chatter and see if anyones’ peeking,

to this hearts content it’ll soon come for sure,

for this souls’ burdens are lifted for thy hath found thine own closure.

Halloween is here for those that likes it,

Another night for frights and parties and maybe a midget,

So maybe you fancy a Ju-On or a ‘Jason’,

Just remember the Joker is too common or even taken.

But I am not here to tell you what to wear,

Heck you can go wearing a ‘birthday-suit’ for all I care,

So many things I wish to share,

Alas I can’t, I shan’t and maybe I do not dare.

So I leave you with this riddle,

Just something for your mind to ‘fiddle’,

When XQ empties 6-shots of the 16th century,

You’ll find out that he’s bit’ different than what you’d normally see.

Hint: Likeness to two actors which were voted TWICE by FHM as . . . . . .

ok thats’ a crappy hint, but even the hint is a give-away so I know you’ll understand…ngee hee hee tee hee hee