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ATTENTION : SONIFIC will be GONE from my blog from May 1st onwards, till I get a new one..and since WORK has taken its toll on my schedule, i don’t have much time to find a new ‘music’ widget-thingamajig…So enjoy this for now and I’ll be ‘cramming-up’ the blog post-by-post till that happens..BUT if the ‘music is out’..I suggest listening to Rob D’s-Clubbed to Death [from Matrix OST] when reading this hehe.

Have you ever stumbled upon ‘something’ that you couldn’t describe, you couldn’t completely comprehend or something that you just simply won’t know why it’s there?….is it an obdurate habit simply being born after years of,…well, being in denial of what is truly fact and what’s purely ‘wishful‘ thinking.

Tis’ not a really blog…tis’ what ‘IT’ is.

It walked barefoot through the desert. Strong winds blowing in its’ face, in this world where colors are non-existent; where there are no smells to stimulate the olfactory senses. Neither bad stench nor aromatic scent. Everywhere it runs, it seems lost. Everywhere it turns, it seems tormented. It walked and walked, sometimes running and sometimes it could barely lift its’ feet. Where and how, when and what it should look for; it doesn’t know. But it walked regardless, maybe for survival, maybe its strong will urging him to find ‘escape‘. But by mere chance it found an oasis within this dune of gray and black, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to see at least a faint of green on those leaves. Sadly there were none. A small ‘puddle’ of water lies deeper into the oasis. It reached the edge, merely a puddle of water it says. It drinks, drinks and drinks some more. But the more it drinks, the thirstier it gets. Why? Why?! It doesn’t know, it only knows, the desert fading slowly into blackness, the oasis into nothingness, as its visions blurred and eye lids felt heavy; as it fell unconscious face deep into the puddle of mud; nothing but mud.

It woke up several moments later. The cracked earth it ‘slept’ upon are colorless too. It looked up to see nothing but dark clouds..gray clouds. Lightning and thunder on the horizon, wherever it looked, whenever it turned its’ head to look, nothing but cracked earth and clouds of gray with streaks of lightning striking the ground. Sometimes the lightning strikes thrice on the same spot and sometimes it ‘feels’ like the lightning keeps getting closer and closer to it. It walked again, and walked some more. It sometimes had to run, fearing the lightning and thunder. sometimes fearing, ‘fear’ itself maybe. Suddenly it reached a tree, or whatever is left of a tree. black husks, broken branches; not a leaf among them. The tree looks almost uprooted and probably a gentle push it would have fallen into the deep abyss, because that is where the tree is. IT has reached the edge, literally. Where ever it looked; there is nothing beyond that tree. Nothing but more thick gloomy clouds of nothingness. And to take a further step would mean falling into that bottomless void. Null and soundless death would await It. If it did take another step forward, it dared to ask itself, maybe something else besides death would be waiting? It asked…why must it be so? Is there no hope…is there no possible or logical solution to its problems. All it can do was to sit under that old tree, an old bark. Nothing to do except think about this plane of existance.

It stays near the tree, there is no sun, no rain even with the thunder and lightning. No change of weather, not even a slight breeze, only the lightning striking down the gray earth. On this patch of floating island of barren wasteland, surrounded by gloom and despair, surrounded by torment and misery, surrounded by anguish and grief. It stays there…once and awhile it walks around, but never far from that tree and strangely enough never far from the edge of the void where the tree is. Maybe it wants to see when would the wasteland starts to completely crumble and fall into its eminent doom…or maybe the tree is the only semblance of life around here, and it wants to….die with the tree….and slowly, but surely it knows this wasteland IS falling apart bit by bit…

Whatever reason or reasons it has for remaining near that tree…is a mystery…even to it self. Maybe it is tired of everything..or maybe it is pondering what to do next? IT knows one thing for sure…if it moves too far away from anything that resembles life or hope, it will fade much faster..even though waiting for the inevitable is a fruitless undertaking, at least it knows…that it was never alone, it was part of something, and it is still alive somehow…thankfully its master knows how and learned painfully how to make sure IT survives…for it has gone through so much in its existence, its master is astonished that it could still be ‘around’ after all that has happened so far, of the hardships that it went through, of the anguish it has suffered for years..of the grief it still lives with till is truly amazing that its master is still alive

It knows it must survive, it knows it must hold on no matter the odds. no matter the madness this world has to offer; no matter how many lives has passed before its eyes…because it is depended upon for so many things that its master must have to survive…what God has given unto us, He can and will take it away, before that happens, it cannot die…it must not…die..for it..dying means it would cease to exist…not being there in the first place..never missed because it was never there. There ARE things worst than death, the unmarked graves in Chernobyl, the millions more around the time of The Holocaust…even in the present-which are too many going around right now to mention.

Humans are very capable of doing the impossible, achieving the level of greatness and kindness. Sadly we are also capable of some of the most heinous of sins; If you haven’t watched Se7en..then maybe after this you should. If you can tell..or discern what IT is…then maybe you know that I’m not out of topic…assuming you know what the topic is..he ..he…hmm…if you’re reading this…then you’d know what its’ like now. And what I’ve written about it, is when it is in an unmoving, static and stagnant form.

Could you imagine…would you dare to imagine what you would be reading if it was in. . . its most vulnerable state?…When it is going through the adversities that our life is capable of mustering from its’ cycle within time? I would not dare to go there, I could not go there…and to describe it in a condition other than what is written would be….unbearable. Even thinking about writing it that way is…I do not have that kind of endurance. A friend told me once, “Smile when you have nothing to say, for it has ‘unsaid words’ that could reach people in a whole different way,’ which I guess is true…Thank You…not sure how my blog would be like without music, maybe Matt could do something about Sonific gone from the widgets..till then, peace out…and go to or something since it will be quiet for awhile in here, in the…

“Acrimonious Consciousness of the Human Mind”. . .