1. to inspire or possess with a foolish or unreasoning passion, as of love.
2. to affect with folly; make foolish or fatuous.
Infatuation. believe it or not I even went through the trouble of looking it up the dictionary. It has so many other synonyms to it too such as attachment, craze, crush, fascination, folly, madness, love, obsession or passion, etc…
You know what I’m talking about. The way s/he plays with her hair, the way s/he laughs, how s/he leaves your vicinity and you can’t help but feel…well…’off’ …off to another place where you wish you could follow her to where ever she goes.
I’m not about to talk about something I already blogged about(Shit, how many ’round-a-bouts’ did I do?). Yes, there are similarities but….well..this is kinda’ ‘new’. Weird thing is….its so…well….Fuckin’ weird’ to me. Yes, its happening..again.., but this time..its…different?..maybe. It’s not fuckin’ weird in a Bad way,..actually its fuckin’ weird in a Good kinda way…Nice actually…the kinda’ nice that puts a ‘smile’ deep down inside….another weird thing is…I can’t even say that it’s the kinda ‘thing’ that drives you mad or obsessive. Not the kinda’ smile the Joker would put though…that’s like psychotic kinda ‘weird’ isn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong…I’ve had my share of women lately,..recently even, nothing ‘weird’ about them, just..niiiiiceeee, …but ‘this’ one doesn’t feel like a fling, doesn’t feel like a ‘deep-emo-love-crap’ either…something in-between then?..maybe. Hmmm..so why does THIS one feels…hmm…’weird’? Yeah, a cycle of words here. Okay,…more like it feels ‘different’ or ‘bizarre’…God sake’s no, its’ NOT love. NOT. All in caps. Read it again. NOT LOVE.
Love, pfft. All too familiar with it actually. Felt it one too many times and can’t be bothered with it any more. Its possibly because I gave the key to my heart and soul to Lucifer and let em’ have it; not gonna fucking need it till maybe…Oh I don’t know, December next year if I get to see next year.
Let me see, why do I call it ‘weird’/’different’…hmm…how bout’ : cause simply don’t even KNOW this person. Yeah, I mean the least that one should do is at least know a person to even have anything as close to an infatuation isn’t it? Actually I don’t even know whether ‘infatuation’ is even the proper word to describe this ‘phenomenon’.
Usual questions that you’d get from your friends would be like, ‘What do you like about him/her?’- Don’t know.., or ‘What does she do?’-also, Don’t know, or ‘Did you ‘tap’ that?’-WTF?!…ok, ‘screw’ the last question; some friends can be real assholes, haha!! See, the thing is, don’t really ‘feel’ it deep down the ‘groin’ kinda feeling . So, why does THIS one…hmm…*thinking.. and yes you get questions like, ‘Who is she?’- naaah, you’d like to know don’t ‘you’.. 😛
This sounds more like a ‘personal’ journal rather than a blog and should be kept under ‘private-post’ doesn’t it? But where’s the FUN in that?!. And yes please do come in and ‘bash’ me if you’d like to, I haven’t blogged or read any comments for a long..long…loooooooong time..so yes come in and ‘enjoy’ my little acrimonious mind if you wish. Screw it, its not like I’m famous or anything so whoever is reading this would go,”Crap! Shoulda’ wasted my time on Digg or cracked.com; this is BS!!’.
Simply trying to understand it, heck, more like doing a ‘friend’ a favor and doing the ‘ask-the-public-for-input’ kinda thing here too. Don’t know her quirks or perks or attitude. It doesn’t feel lovey-dovey-dreamy-like when talking to her. Can’t say dreaming about her day or night either. Don’t feel like pulling the chair for her when she sits down or open the door for her. Won’t jump down the Niagra falls for her…. Shite, should I even click ‘Publish’…
Anyhoo, yes; everyone in the ‘circle’ would be blogging about The Dark Knight, and here I am bloggin’ about THIS…Yes, yes, The Joker was awesome, and yes, yes I do sound like a ‘school-boy’. Blah,blah this and blah,blah that. If you wanted literature then you’re on the wrong site/blog dude…maybe I just wanted some ‘hits’ on the blog,..poor me, boo hoo hoo. LOL!
Why so serious? I’m not…just ‘feeling’ very, very….off at the moment. Maybe it’s The Game trying to test-out ‘new’ kinda ‘flavors‘ out there?- Don’t know either…so..till I find the answer(s)… Peace out!
P.S: If somehow halfway (or 1st paragraph) reading this you still have NO IDEA whatsoever what this blog is about, guess what : I haven’t the slightest clue of what crap I blogged about either. I know this isn’t going to comfort you, but I didn’t say I’m gonna ‘clarify’ it for you either. 🙂
Xander'z 